Backkkkkk!!!!!!

I opened the blog recently and loved the memories it rekindled so I decided to go for another post! I plan to keep going. 

So, what's popping?! Today is the 6th anniversary of working in America and I still have corporate culture shock in the US. Navigating the landscape has been difficult and slow, this snail speed stunted my career growth. 

I worked in Guaranty Trust Bank (GTB) in Nigeria for three years before I moved to the US. The Commercial Banking industry in Nigeria is an assault on human dignity. Verbal abuse is rife, and physical abuse, though not common, would not be frowned at. I have so many "can you believe this happened at work" stories. I remember watching an employee get carried out of the building because she had fainted at work from the stress. Once, in 2014, I had to resume an hour early for days, because we were ordered to find a report from 2007 in a stack of poorly organized files. The bank did not use e-Filing systems. Nobody complained though! We all considered it part of a normal banking career. Turnover was more financially motivated than culturally motivated. 

Fast-forward to 2025, I have worked with two global companies, and the experience is so similar, different and weird! One time, I found myself missing my time at GTB!

Similarities - People are the same generally - nice and helpful ones, confident ones, stupid ones, smart ones, those that will do anything to get to the top and those that believe their calling is to make your life miserable. 

What's different? People complain actively! I remember this co-worker throwing "F" bombs about what his manager had said in a meeting. Said manager was behind him! People complain - in the open. Second, office gossip was a bit different. In Nigeria, my experience with it was about - IT girls at work and assumptions about their sex lives and the sexual relationships between managers and employees for promotion. In the US, it was more around structural office politics and leaders who did not deserve to be leaders. The most significant difference to me was how much I had to nurture my career. Be in charge and in care of myself, and advocate for myself because I realized no one was going to. As a matter of fact, you are considered you an OP, and they want you out of the way! They will scheme, teach you nonsense, report you for being stupid and set you to fail! It's like you are in a Mortal Kombat game! I felt many nasty feelings in corporate Nigeria but never felt that I was someone's OP at work! 

I gave this a good thought and have come up with a game plan. In Nigeria, this attitude was very common with husband snatchers**. This attitude is full of confidence, puts up their best personality, talks a big game and looks good. Marry them and you'll find out that they are just full of nothings - just like those co-workers. Most Nigerians are familiar with the work of a husband snatcher. If I ever need to encourage another Nigerian immigrant facing a hard time at work, this is going to be my go-to reference. Act like a husband snatcher!  

*OP - Opposition, heard this term in an episode of "I said What I said" (ISWIS) podcast 

**Husband snatchers - women who actively date married men and scheme to have them divorce their wives 

Thirties' Boutique??

How time flies!

Feels like only yesterday, I was in my twenties and feeling on top of the world; had a pretty cool internship, started earning money, dreamed of moving to the US and started a blog.

I am in my 30s now, 31 actually! So much has changed, many of my dreams have come true and others are on the way. I moved to the US, completing my MBA, won $5000 with a group of other students for delivering an award winning project plan, planning a wedding and accepted an offer at my dream job!

So what's next?!

Slut pride

 For a few weeks now CNN has been following a rape case in South Africa involving a mentally impaired 17 year old girl raped by 7 men aged 13- 19. They recorded their despicable acts and in a matter of days the video had gone viral, almost every student in the secondary schools around Soweto had a copy. During an interview with her mother, she stated that this wasn't the first case she had reported to social workers, apparently, she had been lured into a thick bush by a man who promised her apples but raped her instead months before this time.

CNN helped spark some global rage and in a matter of days Nigerian radio stations were talking about it and mostly focused on how to prevent rape. There were many suggestions from the outright silly, wearing panties that had 'I am HIV positive' and telling the rapist you had HIV just to scare him off to kick boxing inspired moves, kicking the rapist in his groin area.

A random study showed that more rape cases are reported on university campuses so they try to organize rape seminars frequently where they talk about preventing, reporting and what to do after a rape incident.
At one of these seminars in January 2011 organized by York University Toronto, Canada a police officer, Michael Sanguinetti suggested that to avoid rape girls should avoid "dressing like sluts". Women and men across the city erupted in protest marches to remind everyone that blaming sexual violence on the victim for wearing provocative clothing is ignorant and dangerous . The turn out was massive, 'slut walkers' as they are now known were carrying placards that read "My dress does not mean yes", "sluts pay taxes" and "Slut pride"

                                                  Slut walk Toronto
 After a successful walk in Toronto, other Canadian and American cities took to the streets ( there are plans to move to Sweden, India and South Africa), and these were more daring than the first walk with girls (and even the men) showing up in revealing outfits!

                                                         Slut walk New York

You can check their website http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/ for more details and to see if there's a slut walk in a town near you.

What are your thoughts on these protests? Do you think they have a point? What are your thoughts on having this walk in Lagos?

Blah week

I have felt very blah and ghostly this week! I'm seeing cockroaches and lizards everywhere, spelling wrongly; I was doing some work for the firms career site and typed "ow to right a resume"

I thought getting a haircut may shake things up, it did for a day till somebody at work decided to christen me and the haircut 'Baba Fryo"

Today, I feel like being a trophy wife, a real housewife of Atlanta, one of those pple that make money just sitting by the pool, drinking expensive wine *sigh*

Hafstat's Birthday Pictures are here!!!!!

I had passed the Friday night before Hafsat's birthday at hers and realized after I got to work that I left my make up at home :( so I planned to disappear anytime we had to take a photo, but she invited her photographer friend over and the rest of the story,  find in the photos!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              Early birds

                                                     I'm not such an addict :p

                                                         Not my date

                                                 Cracking one of my many jokes I suppose?

                                               The samosas were lush! Finished too quick though :(

                                                      Tope, me, Nkechi and birthday girl :D

                                                       BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!!!!!!

                                                Believe or not, I had no make up on!

                                              Preparing to do what I understand

                                              We looove to eat!

                                                   Dessert made me blush!

                                               I love this picture of Hafsy and her Boo

                                         Me and Joko ( the amazing photographer) showing off our necklaces

                                        me, Joko, Hafsy, Cassandra *wink*, Farida, Nkechi and Tope

                                                               :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         My well fed and satisfied smile

Have a great week guys xxx

Hafsat's Birthday Drama

Tough year to be a Nigerian isn't it? With the petrol subsidy removal and the hike in price of goods and services!

On to witty blog news..... Hafsat, my friend that won't leave me alone was 25 on 7th January. We had a late lunch at this beautiful, little steak restaurant, Orela on Awolowo road, Ikoyi to celebrate with her. As expected, it was a little crowd of some unfamiliar faces so we decided to take turns to introduce ourselves and say very briefly how long we have been friends with Hafsat.

                                                                    Birthday girl!

3 of us had known Hafsat the longest, since our QC days and were giggling away when this guy (someone already whispered to us he was from a wealthy family) brought our mini party to an abrupt pause. His girlfriend had done a poor job socializing so he decided to help her make a few friends and started out with us, her old school mates!

                                                
"Oh really, you went to QC? I thought you looked oddly familiar! When did you graduate? What arm were you in? Were you are boarder or day girl? What house were you in?"  The questions kept pouring in, boyfriend felt accomplished and left girlfriend to handle her new found stardom which she seemed to be enjoying till her tongue slipped! She answered one of our questions so wrongly, we knew she had to be lying! But she wasn't going down without a fight, argued for a few minutes till she finally gave up and refused to answer any further questions. Boyfriend looked traumatized! Way to find out his chic had been lying about her secondary education! She just put him through the most mortifying experience ever plus he was got an inkling  she was just after his money! He stormed out fuming while we had the laugh of our lives!Us girls sha! Was that lie really necessary or even smart?? Oh well....we've got to put human hair on our heads!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!

Hi guys!!!!!

Hope you all had a wonderful christmas???

I just had to share this mail from Giuliana Rancic's FFF blog! It's basically her thoughts, ideas on everything you need to do before that special new year's eve midnight kiss and I found it quite hilarious!!

What do you know you could get a few tips too

Enjoy xxx

This Magic Moment

Secrets for the perfect New Year’s Eve midnight kiss

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5…

New Year’s Eve is right around the corner and I couldn’t be more excited. And while I love all the lights, the glitter, the bubbly, and the sparkly dresses, what I am really waiting for is that perfect midnight kiss.

You know the kind…think the upside down Spidey smooch, the right side up Titanic kiss, and maybe best of all, the rain-soaked Notebook lip lock.

Of course nothing can ruin the moment more than cracked, dry, totally un-kissable lips. And bad breath will mean the kiss of death, rather than the kiss of a lifetime! (Unless of course we’re talking about the Ghost kiss or the Twilight kiss — I’m not sure ghosts or vamps care about that stuff.)

Luckily, kissing is my middle name. OK that’s a lie, and it actually sounds kinda slutty, but I do have a pretty decent amount of kissing experience with my adorable hubs, Bill. So to make the midnight moment perfect, check out my tips for the perfect kiss.

Exfoliate: Rub your lips with a washcloth every time you take a shower or bath. You’ll get rid of rough, dead cells, leaving you with a perfect pout!

Moisturize: Use lip balm in the morning and at night under your regular lip gloss or lipstick. I am ub-sessed with Nivea’s A Kiss of Milk and Honey. I always keep one in my handbag, one in my makeup drawer at home, and one in my shower (just kidding…kinda).

Brush: Make sure to brush your entire mouth, including a good tongue scrub, followed by a rinse with a potent minty mouthwash.

Avoid: On the big night, forgo the garlic and onions at dinner. Yes, they are both delish, but you’re getting your mouth ready for the big kiss.

Chew: Grab a piece of gum 20 minutes before midnight and get chewing. I love Orbit White Gum. It’s so yummy and fresh.

Lose the gooey gloss: Guys hate overly gooey gloss that gets everywhere and can ruin the moment. Instead, opt for a bright red or pink lipstick. Sure, some guys claim they don’t like it, but on New Year’s Eve a little smeared red lipstick on your guy is sure to make him feel like a stud!

Go slow: There’s nothing worse than a messy, rushed kiss. So go slow and enjoy the moment!

Happy New Year!

xx, G