Humans are a very fascinating species to observe! We are experts at disrupting and complicating nature's blueprints, spend our lives trying to fix what we have messed up and when we get lucky, come to a conclusion that mankind is a smart, one of a kind specie, rught!!
Take the process of hooking up for instance, it was meant to be as it was with Adam and Eve!I like to think God gave everyone a "bone of your bones" detector, finding your correct spouse should never have been a chore! It should have played out this way:
(Man playing with whatever has got his attention at the moment)
God: Poor man! He's lonely. He needs a companion (goes ahead to miraculously bring a woman forth wearing nothing too fancy and open man's eyes and whispers to him, "this is the bone of your bones")
Man: (drops toy) Wowage! Let's get married and make babies!
Woman: Okay!
Easy like that!
Enter the new millenium and what do you have? Fashion and Beauty 2.0! Brazillian hairs, lipglosses, mini skirts, and six packs have thrown us off course. we have almost lost our God hearing ability as far as finding a mate is concerned and every beautiful human is a potential mate. Take the compulsive human need to fix stuff we ruined into consideration, and we have concerned family members, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette shows and loads of other dating agencies that promise a cinderella ending.
Apparently, these agencies have started going downhill as only recently one of the Bachelor's broke up with the wife he found on the show after not so long.
So welcome the new way to find a soulmate- DNA testing!!! Carrie Seim, a single writer looking for her soulmate tried out this new dating service that matches couples based on genetic compability! Sounds wacky?! No! This is what God did with Adam. Anyway, amongst the men tested was a cute doctor who was found to be a great biological match so they started to date and they have been dating for so long and still as smitten as they were when they first met!
Didn't we just manage to replay the Adam and Eve story with lab equipment and clothed humans?
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Friday, 17 June 2011
The New Breed of Bleachers
With Rihanna and Beyonce topping the bleachers chart, bleaching has become the in beauty trend. Every beauty shop in Lagos has a corner laboratory, stocked with a few mixing bowls, spoons, a spatula, a small table, a couple of jars of lotion and serums and the chemist tending to women who aren't quite pleased with their skin tones. Gone are the days when bleachers were tagged 'asewos" and "omo oshis", these days all kinds of women, from the really fair ones that make you realize how insatiable women are to the very dark ones that leave you wondering how many years of treatment would get her looking like her Beyonce target, walk very proudly into a Lagos lab for their very special skin treatment, the ones who feel posh about it do Makari and the others. If it hurts your skin so bad, there's Mac, Iman and Fashion Fair foundations and concealers to help out. So this isn't quite blog news.
But have you seen the new breed of bleachers?? They are called Men! They now have dressers topped with Fair and White serums! At least, he does it in his bedroom, and when you ask why he's fairer he says he's tasting the good life. The scary one was the young man I saw walk nicely into the store where I do my beauty shopping for a chemist appointment! Like wharahell!!! I was just recovering from my visual shock when I saw a photo of Jay Z!!! Obviously, Madam B's been giving him tips, but I really wonder, did all these people know Michael Jackson????
Oh! And where do I put Alao Akala's burnt story?
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But have you seen the new breed of bleachers?? They are called Men! They now have dressers topped with Fair and White serums! At least, he does it in his bedroom, and when you ask why he's fairer he says he's tasting the good life. The scary one was the young man I saw walk nicely into the store where I do my beauty shopping for a chemist appointment! Like wharahell!!! I was just recovering from my visual shock when I saw a photo of Jay Z!!! Obviously, Madam B's been giving him tips, but I really wonder, did all these people know Michael Jackson????
Oh! And where do I put Alao Akala's burnt story?
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Good food, Good people and Cafe Licious
Sunday, 12th June 2011, French trained chef Frez, displayed culinary artistry with his special range of pancakes and waffles at Cafe Licious Opebi. The doors opened at 10 a m, and was filled to its capacity with beautiful people who either came to enjoy the pancakes or look at other beautiful people.
There was a whole lot, from the classic cinnamon apple pancakes with maple syrup and whipped cream to chocolate and caramelized banana pancakes to pancakes with scrambles eggs spicy BBQ-Chilli sausages and strawberry coulis pancakes. There was even the skinny pancake and mocha option for "calorie counters" and that tasted great.
The wonderful bit? All the goodness plus a smoothie or a hot chocolate came at a maximum of N2500!
The funny bit? I had been wanting an oreo cookie milkshake a long time, and when I got the menu, I was more than excited that I had turned up because it was right there on the menu. I wasted no time ordering it. And then it came and guess what I got? An oreo cookie, cream scrapped off, floating on top of a regular milkshake!!! I had it anyway as I couldn't send it back, but that was the most horrifying oreo cookie milkshake ever! I heard later that the milkshake was a Cafe Licious special not Chef Fregz, very relieving news!
The doors shut at 7 and everyone had a smile on their face, even the 'tourists' had a great time, watching beautiful people eat good food xx
There was a whole lot, from the classic cinnamon apple pancakes with maple syrup and whipped cream to chocolate and caramelized banana pancakes to pancakes with scrambles eggs spicy BBQ-Chilli sausages and strawberry coulis pancakes. There was even the skinny pancake and mocha option for "calorie counters" and that tasted great.
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The funny bit? I had been wanting an oreo cookie milkshake a long time, and when I got the menu, I was more than excited that I had turned up because it was right there on the menu. I wasted no time ordering it. And then it came and guess what I got? An oreo cookie, cream scrapped off, floating on top of a regular milkshake!!! I had it anyway as I couldn't send it back, but that was the most horrifying oreo cookie milkshake ever! I heard later that the milkshake was a Cafe Licious special not Chef Fregz, very relieving news!
The doors shut at 7 and everyone had a smile on their face, even the 'tourists' had a great time, watching beautiful people eat good food xx
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Of course it sucks that your ex has moved on and left you hunting, but did you know that your ex's next can provide surprising insight to the person you are and the kind of guy you should really be with. I found this article in a little corner of one of my Cosmopolitan magazines and thought I'd be nice and share. Think of it as some sort of compass, steering you to the right man/ relationship.
His new GF: The girl next door
Who she is: She's cute and sweet and all she wants to do is curl up on the couch with him every night
What it says about you:This GF is ideal for a guy who craves routine. Now you have to find a man who won't be threatened when you run off to do something new or who you like enough to take along with you.
His new GF: The wildcard
Who she is: She was voted most likely to become Angelina Jolie in high school (in our context, Funke Akindele)
What it says about you: A man goes this route when he's lost (ahem, Brad Pitt, in our context, the married man Funke Akindele is shagging and trying to marry) and wants a take charge woman, whereas you accepted for who he is. Don't change, just aim for a guy with clear goals
His new GF:The plain Jane
Who she is: Her daily uniform is jeans and a tee and her idea of beauty is a quick shampoo
What it says about you: His bland choic means that your beauty (and brains) intimidated the hell out of him. Its time you dated a guy who is confident enough to feel like your equal
His new GF:The social butterfly
Who she is: She has a bazillion friends on facebook and posts party pics of her and your ex
What it says about you: While you may not need to hang with friends 24/7, your ex thrives on being around people. Your better off dating a dude who looks forward to laying low with you
So there people, men may really not be jerks, you guys were just mismatched
Happy hunting
His new GF: The girl next door
Who she is: She's cute and sweet and all she wants to do is curl up on the couch with him every night
What it says about you:This GF is ideal for a guy who craves routine. Now you have to find a man who won't be threatened when you run off to do something new or who you like enough to take along with you.
His new GF: The wildcard
Who she is: She was voted most likely to become Angelina Jolie in high school (in our context, Funke Akindele)
What it says about you: A man goes this route when he's lost (ahem, Brad Pitt, in our context, the married man Funke Akindele is shagging and trying to marry) and wants a take charge woman, whereas you accepted for who he is. Don't change, just aim for a guy with clear goals
His new GF:The plain Jane
Who she is: Her daily uniform is jeans and a tee and her idea of beauty is a quick shampoo
What it says about you: His bland choic means that your beauty (and brains) intimidated the hell out of him. Its time you dated a guy who is confident enough to feel like your equal
His new GF:The social butterfly
Who she is: She has a bazillion friends on facebook and posts party pics of her and your ex
What it says about you: While you may not need to hang with friends 24/7, your ex thrives on being around people. Your better off dating a dude who looks forward to laying low with you
So there people, men may really not be jerks, you guys were just mismatched
Happy hunting
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Snag a man (1)
Nigeria experiences blazing heat all year round, we should be raining men, we should get hit on every hour we spend outdoors, however, we are wearing too many jeans and hiding our hot legs, wearing waistcoats over long sleeve dresses, pashminas over strapless and sweetheart necklines hiding every hint of shoulders and cleavage *sigh* Ladies! we need to uncover up, sometimes a pair of jeans and a top won't do. Stop wearing them to the beach and rolling it up.Be sexy, wear something hot,Whip out your mini skirts from hiding or shop some, find denim shorts or shorten an old pair, show some cleavage and see how many men hit on you. Don't be too worried about unwanted men hitting on you, Kim Kardashian gets stalked and hit on by lowly men, many of us earn way less than 100k and want a collection of Chanel purses and sunglasses, so let them hit on you, in a twisted way, it's good medicine for your ego. All the girls featured here, they have blokes!
Be sure to accessorize with sunglasses, cute sandals, purses, belts, bracelets, a cute puppy and maybe a car
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Friday, 29 April 2011
Yoruba-d boys
My mum and her brother were in a terrible argument once and she concluded he was a bastard! I was beyond shocked! A whole 'Jesus is Lord' believing woman. Either she felt guilty or saw the need to educate the shock on my face, she explained bastard really meant saddist not the child without parents definition I knew it as.
Yoruba ex boyfriends/lovers especially the ones that break up with you or act mean so you have no choice but to end the relationship fit this 'bastard' description.
When they are new, they'll meet eleven of the ten things you want in a man, they know the perfect date spots, have the perfect words for every depressive state you may go through, they are always almost the next best things.
Somehow there's a misunderstanding, you try to find out what went wrong so you can fix but as yoro is done, the relationship ends. You are miserable for days/weeks/months, after sometime things are going good, you manage to dress your emotions to health and looking forward to either a bubbly single life or a dreamy relationship.
Then one fine day, 8 months after break up, you're tracing your brows for the date you just scored and your phone rings, text message 'hey babe, what's up? I realize now that us breaking up was a mistake. I miss you terribly. Can we hook up sometime?' That's how he lets you know you're not over him. He won't just let you move on! Fucking bastard!!!
Yoruba ex boyfriends/lovers especially the ones that break up with you or act mean so you have no choice but to end the relationship fit this 'bastard' description.
When they are new, they'll meet eleven of the ten things you want in a man, they know the perfect date spots, have the perfect words for every depressive state you may go through, they are always almost the next best things.
Somehow there's a misunderstanding, you try to find out what went wrong so you can fix but as yoro is done, the relationship ends. You are miserable for days/weeks/months, after sometime things are going good, you manage to dress your emotions to health and looking forward to either a bubbly single life or a dreamy relationship.
Then one fine day, 8 months after break up, you're tracing your brows for the date you just scored and your phone rings, text message 'hey babe, what's up? I realize now that us breaking up was a mistake. I miss you terribly. Can we hook up sometime?' That's how he lets you know you're not over him. He won't just let you move on! Fucking bastard!!!
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