Friday, 19 August 2011

Adults say darned things too!

I remember when Bill Cosby's "kids say the darndest things" was my favorite TV show. I remember this one kid who was asked if he knew what Jesus Christ's parents were called and with all the confidence in the world, he answered "Mr&Mrs Christ" Hilarious!!!!!!! I laughed my butt off. Isn't being a child bliss? You can get away with plenty of bullshit talk and the grown ups think you're absolutely cute.

I have some cool ass childish jokes to crack, better than Bill Cosby's kids,for fear of being tagged a retard, I crack them privately. But after reading one edition of cosmopolitan, I discovered the one place, adults can say the darnedest things, and actually get responses is....a sex doctor's office!

Look what some sex doctors got asked by grown ass adults, sad for them they had to respond:

  • "My dog watched me and my guy have sex last night. Could I have scarred him for life?"
  • "If I use a corn cob as a sex toy, could the kernels pop off and sprout inside me?"
  • "I have this thing where I go out into the woods and put honey on my genitals and get aroused by bug bites down there. Is this normal?"
  • "Can you recommend a doctor who can reset my penis? I broke it"
  • "My husband was anally probed by aliens but he says he doesn't remember this happening. Can you do something to help spark his memory?"
  • "Does a woman pee out of her vagina?"
  • "Will a guy really explode from blue balls if he doesn't have an orgasm?"
  • "I want to go down on my boyfriend and swallow. Will I get pregnant?"
  • "Doctor, I used a lubricating jelly like you advised me to but it tasted terrible with peanut butter and now I'm afraid I'm going to be sick, not to mention, I don't feel anymore turned on than I usually am. What should I do?"
  • "The idea of being violently tickled excites me greatly. Am I alone here? Do you think it's erotic?" 
  • "My penis does not stay hard during sex, it tends to go limp halfway through the act. Can I show you what I mean?"
  • "I work in a restaurant, is it weird to masturbate around 14 times a day while I'm on the job?'
Are you as speechless as I am?


  1. ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!....@ d masturbating waiter...*puking in nearby potted plant*

  2. LMAO!!!!!!!!! I always knew you had OCD